Newsflash: The Scarab Spring

Dark tidings from the North. It appears that following the overthrow of our good friends in Libya, the grim spectre of anarchy has reared its malformed head in our fair republic. We are receiving sketchy reports that the Dublin Games Guild has overthrown the benevolent rule of the Warheads and seized the title of "Best Irish 40K Club". Faced with the fall of their only slightly tyrannical regime, Warhead supporters have responded calmly and reasonably, taking to the streets to express their mild concerns in a dignified manner.

And there is cause for concern, comrades, we have evidence that the DGG has formed a pact with the most unholy, trading their very souls for mere temporal power. Behold your new "President", Quigley. Formerly of the fifth circle of hell itself. He will eat your babies.

The first act of the Quigley regime was the restoration of the Johnston Monarchy. This hapless fop, whose family fled with much of the treasury during the glorious revolution of 2010, has pledged to "return and trample those filthy peasants into the mire". Expect mass starvation within weeks.

We also regret to report that Great Comrade Leader Joseph Cullen was cornered in a sewer while heroically hiding, captured through dastardly means involving a trail of Terminators leading out of the pipe and is now being displayed like an animal. Truly, this "Games Guild" are no more than modern day Huns. Their barbarism knows no bounds.

Several high ranking military officials from the former government have donned, frankly, shoddy disguises and are attempting to flee the country. Their absence has hastened the collapse of what will be remembered as a just era of unprecedented prosperity.

Some members of the old regime remain at large with the Comrade Minister for Internal Security having captured several unlucky tourists. He has sworn to keep executing hostages until the Great Leader is released or at least forced to wear a shirt.

Many documents have allegedly been captured detailing the Warheads' involvement in gun running and human trafficking. Please, citizens, remember that these accusations are only half true. War Criminal Stowe can be seen below, frantically falsifying police reports.

 Although, it is said that an amnesty will be granted to lower-ranking Warheads, Comrade Minister for Communication has specifically been excluded from any such deal. From an unknown location, he released a statement declaring that the Warheads were still the No.1 Club and that he would beat his enemies with shoes.

These are the darkest of days, I hope some of us survive to see brighter, happier times. Sniff.

................. I'm sorry, it appears our studio is being ............... ow,ow, ow, stop hitting me, I'm not saying that ................... ow, ow, ow, ow, okay, okay, I'll say it .............

Seriously, though, congratulations to the Dublin Games Guild. Your successes are noted and know we'll be waiting in the wings to pounce. ;)